


Consequences

by Rosehip



Series: Strange Luck [8]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Bullying, Developing Friendships, Gen, Kidfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-30 01:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11452941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosehip/pseuds/Rosehip
Summary: Amell spends her first day in the circle, wonders if she's making the right decisions, and learns exactly what templars are for.Also, Surana has all the ADHD.





	Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know how to tag this. This and other works in this series involve children in a world that doesn't handle them gently. Here be mention of an early betrothal and portrayal of pain inflicted on young people. Ends on a bright note.

Silvana's first afternoon, she perused the library. She didn't have a tutor yet. She'd spent the morning displaying what she knew. They asked her to try a few minor magical demonstrations. Evidently most people didn't turn up knowing many things... but not magic. It would take a few days to figure out who should train her and in what. Meanwhile, she had access to an entire library, and she had _nowhere else to be._ No parties, no dress fittings, no insufferable neighbors, no blackmailing future husband. She gave a happy sigh and settled in with a pile of random books.

 

She took breakfast and lunch with the same pair of apprentices, who didn't seem to mind. Macsen and Jowan ran off to more lectures and tutoring sessions after lunch. Macsen reappeared sooner, and joined Silvana like this was routine, now.

 

“Hey,” she greeted him. “I've never seen you alone before.”

 

“Irving has First Enchanting to do so he gave me my assignments and sent me away early.”

 

As the day wore on, more and more people turned up in the library. Not all of them cared about their work as much as Macsen. His fingers never stilled. When he wasn't writing, he fiddled with a paintbrush, but not paint.

 

“What's that for?” Silvana asked him.

 

“What? Oh.” He glanced down at it. “You wouldn't be trying to read next to me if I didn't have something quiet to fidget with.” He tapped it on his current book, and it made a subtle _shf shf_ noise.

 

“What would happen otherwise?”

 

He smiled wickedly, set it down and returned to his book. Before long, his heels banged against the chair and his fingernails tapped against the wood in persistent but patternless percussion. Their nearest neighbors shot them deathglares.

 

“Demonstration complete,” Silvana said. “You'd better pick that back up before someone throws something at you.”

 

He did and they both continued reading. Silvana enjoyed it. She couldn't say how much time passed before Macsen shut his book, bounced out of his chair, and hopped around a few times. (He earned deathglares for that, too.)

 

Silvana laughed. “Are you done, then?”

 

“Pfhhht. That does not happen. But I need to move. Want to get tea with me?”

 

“We can just go get tea whenever?”

 

“Nobody told you where the tea was? Jerks. That's it, let's go.”

 

_You do not seem like you need more tea, but I could use some,_ Silvana thought to herself.

 

They headed towards the door, but a few people from the table she'd avoided milled around near it, including the guys who ogled her. Egil and Syd, their names were.

 

“Excuse us, gentlemen,” she smiled wide, tried to mean it, and attempted to slide by with Macsen.

 

Egil smiled back, slipped further into their way, and snatched at something near Macsen's neck. A snap, and a round, blue charm on a knotted leather cord flew off to the side. Syd caught the charm; threw it to another boy. Macsen howled. Silvana froze. Several apprentices laughed.

 

“Give it back!” Macsen ran for the boy who held it, but he threw it to yet another person.

 

“Maybe you're better off without it,” said the red-haired girl who caught it. “It's too feminine for a boy. Well, on second thought, so are you.”

 

“You think it's pretty, Ev?” Syd asked. “Better leave it alone. It was his mommy's. It's probably a charm for evil elf magic.”

 

She threw it to another, and from there it flew to another. Macsen ran fast, but didn't have the height to catch it before the older humans could pass it.

 

“Please stop it!” called Silvana. This isn't-”

 

“-Any of your business, princess,” Egil interrupted.

 

_Why aren't the templars helping?_ She wondered. A few stood nearby but made no move to break it up.

 

Nobody did. A ponytailed young man sat alone at a table. When the charm came to him, remorse flickered across his face, but he threw it on.

 

Macsen had enough. Syd caught it again. Macsen charged straight for him, screaming a torrent of incomprehensible words. Syd threw it, but Macsen kept coming, launched himself at the much taller boy's face, scratched across it.

 

“You stupid animal-” He caught Macsen by the front of his robes; screamed murder as the elf bit his hand bloody. Sparks crackled in the air around them. Syd punched. Blood from both spattered across the marble.

 

_This has to stop_ , Silvana thought. She looked, found the charm, darted in and grabbed the wrist of the girl holding it. A twist- she had it herself.

 

“Hey!” The girl launched into a counterattack- landed hard when Silvana swept her feet out from under her.

 

“Let go, Macsen! I've got... it.” Silvana's voice faded out at a loud booming noise behind her. The floor vibrated. Her ears rang. She turned to see Syd and Macsen laid out on the floor, a few of the nearby apprentices blinked glassy eyes.

 

“What... was that?” Silvana asked of nobody in particular.

 

The girl on the floor next to her answered, anyway. “Smite. Wow. They don't usually go right for that.”

 

Silvana slid Macsen's pendant into her bodice. Nobody noticed. Two of the templars each scooped up an unconscious boy and carried them off.

 

“They'll... bring them back, won't they?”

 

Everyone ignored her. “Anders!” a templar called to the boy with the ponytail.

 

“What did _I_ do?” he asked.

 

“It's what you'll do next. Be a witness. Maybe assist the healers.”

 

He nodded and followed them out.

 

*

 

Jowan arrived not long after that to find Silvana staring at the darkening clerestory. She told him about the afternoon, sure that she needed to start looking for new companions after this.

 

But instead, he nodded as she spoke. The gloom stretched out and pulled him in with her.

 

“What can we do?” she asked. “Can I explain my view of what happened?”

 

“There might not be a point. They'll have both sides and a semi-impartial witness. I hope Macsen's all right. I've heard that hurts awfully.”

 

“They've never done that to you?”

 

“Absolutely not. You saw it. Will you be looking for trouble anytime soon?”

 

“Ideally? No.”

 

“Right, everybody's got a line. Egil went straight for his.”

 

“What is that pendant, anyway? It must be important.”

 

Jowan considered for a moment. “I suppose I can tell you. It isn't like everyone doesn't already know. His grandfather gave him that as a remembrance of his family and it's all he has of them.”

 

“He doesn't get letters?” Then she mentally kicked herself. She didn't know a lot of elves, but until today, she'd never seen one write.

 

Jowan smiled sadly, though. “No. His family travel constantly so he can't write to them. They don't want humans to know their routes, so they don't write him.”

 

“Oh.” Silvana added a second mental kick to the last one. That explained his lapses into Maker knew what language. Well, the Maker did know, as she did, now. She thought the Dalish had died out. Something else weighed on her mind much more, though. “Jowan?” she continued. “Does this happen a lot?”

 

He bit his lip. “Hm. Sort of? This was an extreme version of daily stupidity.”

 

She bit her lip and looked around the room. Most people were gathering their things and heading to dinner. They had as much privacy as she could expect. “What I mean to ask is... is this my fault? Those two invited me to join them and I declined. If I'd just done what they wanted.... it was only dinner...”

 

Jowan smiled. “You can't blame yourself for the actions of others.” He opened his mouth to say something else, paused, and then said “We might as well go to dinner. There's nothing else we can do right now.”

 

Silvana released her breath and followed him.

 

*

 

Both missing boys came back not long after dinner; bandaged and healing, but obviously weary. A templar accompanied them to the dormitory. They kept a huge amount of distance between them and tiredly shambled over to their separate friends.

 

Jowan sprang off his bunk and hugged Macsen. Quiet smiles and a few “welcome back”s came from all over the room.

 

_Everyone's been on absolute pins and needles, this evening,_ Silvana thought.  _Whatever they feared must be over. Good._

 

“What all happened?” Jowan pulled Macsen over to sit on his bunk.

 

Macsen flopped backwards into a sprawl. “I woke up on Irving's floor with a gigantic headache. I don't know where they put Syd. Irving and Gregoir talked to us both. Not at the same time. They had lots of questions. Looked all over me for scars. I have those, but they're from when I went to the dungeon. They decided again that I'm not a maleficar, which you'd think they'd remember. I'm going to be working in the workshop in the mornings and some evenings. Something about 'boiling off some steam'. It'll mean getting up early, and I'm really, really tired, so can we talk about it tomorrow?”

 

“Oh, of course. Goodnight.” They both stood.

 

Silvana interrupted. “Wait one second?”

 

Macsen wobbled in place and leaned against the bedpost but did wait.

 

She fussed with her bodice and brought out the pendant, still knotted to its broken cord. “I got it back for you.” She whispered and kept her back to most of the room, just in case.

 

“Will you let me have it back, please?” His voice had no volume. He bit his lip.

 

She took his hand and placed the charm in his palm. “Of course! It's yours. I was afraid it might get lost if-”

 

He leaped up and collided with her chest, knocking her air out. He rattled off something complicated that involved a lot of L's, before thanking her in Trade. A moment later, Macsen released her from the fierce hug and mumbled “sorry.”

 

“Oh my goodness! You're welcome. What did you think I would do? Hold it for ransom?”

 

“You should have, newbie,” chimed a girl a few rows over. “You'd have had a slave for weeks over that one, but live and learn.”

 

_Wow._ “I don't need one of those.” She gathered him back into another hug. She usually hated it when people unexpectedly invaded her space. After weeks away from home, this felt all right, though.

 

*

 

That night, Silvana didn't sleep. Tossing, snoring, low conversation, the lights from the corridor- it was all too much to ignore. She pretended, though. Maybe she could convince her body to co-operate by keeping her eyes shut and relaxing as much as possible. If not, at least she wouldn't have dry eyes in the morning.

 

So she heard it when Macsen crept down from his bunk to slide in beside Jowan, who continued to snore quietly with a bit of a wheeze. She heard shifting around and then silence but for maybe one or two sniffles.

 

Silvana stilled herself even further. No little boy on the threshold of not being so little anymore would want anyone to notice this.

 

Jowan awoke eventually. “Macsen? What's up?” His voice barely carried at all.

 

“My scars, Jowan. Gregoir was there the day I got them and he still looked at every single one. He doesn't actually think I'm... like Mamae but he still made absolutely sure I had nothing new besides from today.”

 

“All right?” The bed creaked a bit.

 

“I'm a mage with like a million old wounds.”

 

“Oh. I see...”

 

“Yeah. I can never be sent to another circle. Ever. And may Gregoir have a very long life.”

 

“Wait a minute. It isn't likely that they'll really, _actually_ find you guilty of blood magic. I mean, you wouldn't stab yourself in the back. This isn't what's really bothering you, is it?”

 

Macsen said nothing for a while. The mattress rustled.

 

“You don't have to tell me.”

 

“You can't trap me with that.”

 

“Worth a try.”

 

Macsen sighed. “Fine, short version. Smiting sucks and I still feel sick. But, it also made me extra queasy when they looked me over. You'd think I'd be used to being naked around people by now.”

 

“Not really? Most days it doesn't matter, but this was bad context. They were looking to find fault with you. Um.” A long pause followed.

 

“What?”

 

“There is also good context for that, but my brain is rebelling.”

 

“I know about sex, Jowan.”

 

“Ew. You're not allowed.”

 

“Yes, boss.”

 

Silvana couldn't suppress a tiny, startled giggle.

 

The bunk jounced, and conversation stopped.

 

“I'm sorry!” She whispered. She could feel her cheeks heating up. She leaned on one arm and shifted to face them.

 

Macsen buried his face in the covers. Jowan looked over at her. “No, I'm sorry we woke you.” Her bed had its head at Jowan's feet, with no other neighbor within whispering distance.

 

“You didn't wake me. I couldn't sleep and thought if I just relaxed enough, but then...”

 

“Shhh!” Jowan nudged Macsen and sat up. “Come over so we can whisper better. Actually, let's go into the hall.”

 

Jowan took Macsen's hand and they headed for the open door. After a moment's hesitation, Silvana followed, shoving her feet into her shoes on the way.

 

The templar down the hall looked at them, but didn't otherwise react. The three sat on the carpet in the middle of the corridor.

 

“I didn't mean to snoop,” she began. “I thought if I stayed quiet and didn't mention it, it wouldn't matter.”

 

“Good guess.” Jowan replied. “We all hear more than we want to and pretend we didn't.”

 

“It's a great deal to get used to. Um, hey,” she looked over to where Macsen stared at the floor through a curtain of hair. “Forgive me, Macsen? I know I wasn't supposed to see that.”

 

“Jowan's trying to tell you you didn't do anything wrong! I'm just... nevermind.”

 

“Kinda mortified?”

 

“Heh. Yeah.”

 

“Me too. Want to pretend I slept through that?”

 

“You can't unsee me acting like a little kid. It was nice that you didn't know.”

 

“Know what, that you're young?”

 

Jowan reached around Macsen's shoulder. “It was a matter of time, you know. Want me to explain?”

 

“Yes, please. The whole thing.” He wrapped his arms around his drawn-up knees and radiated misery.

 

Jowan looked back at her. He squeezed Macsen's shoulder. “He's had nightmares ever since they brought him. His mom was a mage, and she tried to use blood magic. A templar killed her in front of him. I remember the man who did it. He was usually pretty nice. I doubt he ever forgave himself. He transferred somewhere else right away. Anyway, Macsen wasn't all right for a long time.”

 

“I cried a lot.” Macsen added. “So I'm a whiny little baby and at the same time everyone's waiting for me to turn evil. I'm best at spooky magic. That does not help.”

 

“Wow,” Silvana said. “That explains some of the insults about 'evil elf magic'. Wait, how did you get your necklace, then?”

 

“Vhenpapae- ah, my grandfather, caught up with us on the journey here. He tried to help me make peace with things. It wasn't that easy.”

 

“How old were you?”

 

“Um... small?”

 

_You're still small,_ Silvana thought. She struggled to imagine him smaller. He came up to her chest. Her thoughts must have showed.

 

“Absolutely tiny,” Jowan confirmed. “I thought he was about three, but every elf said he was closer to five. Nobody thought to ask when they had the chance.”

 

“I think I can see why the templars who escorted me were surprised I wanted to come,” she replied. “My parents wanted me to marry someone who blackmailed us with the knowledge that I have magic. This is a much better option.”

 

“I'm getting a lot of use out of the word 'ew' tonight,” said Jowan.

 

“My sentiments as well.” she smiled at him, but it wilted quickly. “They're so angry. I had to run away to the Chantry behind their backs.”

 

“Huh. Mine just dropped me off when I turned the fire green. But, I already had two siblings and probably have more, now. They didn't need me.”

 

_You don't get letters, either,_ Silvana thought.  _How very lonely. No wonder you're so attached. Then again, I might be in the same boat._ She had one scrawled message from her mother, shoved into a pack of her things that just barely arrived at the ship before it left. Impossible to judge her standing with her family from “Silvana, I thought we had discussed this adequately. Nevertheless, I expect you to live up to our name and redeem some of what you've undone. Safe travels, Mother.” It had smeared ink and had taken thirty seconds to write, if that.

 

_Ugh. If that's where my mind is, sleeping tonight is not going to happen. I can't change anything, so why can't I stop thinking about what I could have done differently?_

 

In the end, morning came too soon for any of them to bother with more sleep.

 

*

 

A few months later, after she'd given up on it, a letter arrived frm Kirkwall:

 

_My Dearest Silvana,_

 

_I hope that you had a safe journey and that this letter finds you well. The Revered Mother told me where you had gone after she felt it was safe. I wish I had known and that I might have seen you off._

 

_Your mother explained everything to me. Her fears appear to be coming to pass. I'm not certain our standing will remain intact much longer. She and your father are making travel arrangements to join her family in Rivain. Perhaps I will travel as well; I cannot bear the thought of living in this giant home all by myself with every inch of it reminding me of the past. (To say nothing of my gloating neighbors.)_

 

_I must warn you, I'm not certain your parents will forgive you for this. I've told them how to reach you in case they change their minds. For myself, I didn't know until too late how unbearably I would miss your aunt. I will not make that mistake twice._

 

_I will do what I can to smooth the way for you. I have some idea how Circles work. Take care, my dear and let me know how you fare. I will send word if I do take my leave of Kirkwall._

 

_Love,_

_Grandpapa_

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Long ago, I stayed for a little while at a monastery. They had caffeine and plain cookies available around the clock. That made a lot of sense to me in that life, and I adopted that idea for my portrayal of the circle. A lot of my ideas about circles are informed by monasteries, actually.
> 
> Thanks to Starla-Nell for beta-ing IN THE FREAKING WOODS.


End file.
